Open Conversations with Boys Are Key to Countering the Manosphere Threat | Men’s Health

It’s great to see that there are young men who are actively looking for alternatives to the masculinities portrayed on the internet (I’m a teenager who was lured into the manosphere. Here’s how to reach young men like me on November 2nd). But for me, Josh Sargent’s article is about more than just the manosphere. It’s about the platforms that make this possible, and how social media distracts attention from things like reading and focuses on things that are largely unimportant. Josh says it himself: “To be fair, short content is a little more engaging than flashcards with Macbeth quotes.” This is really worrying.

It’s true that the education system can and should be better, but I also think we need to remember that young people have always felt alienated from the education system. They have always been disillusioned and feeling ignored and misunderstood, and I think many young men forget that today. It’s not just them. John Hughes has spent his career writing about disaffected youth and the pressure to conform to expectations of masculinity And Femininity (women have long endured the pressure of not being “feminine” enough, of “failing” as mothers, as women, etc.). It has taken a long time for alternatives to emerge and we are not there yet. What frustrates me most about the idea of ​​toxic masculinity is that (some) men think their trials are somehow unique and therefore lash out at women.

To Josh and others I say: Get away from TikTok. It may not be the sole cause of the manosphere, but it feeds on it. Social media itself is toxic: it prioritizes what is trivial and superficial. Instead, young men (and everyone else) should try to reclaim their attention span. Go read East of Eden. Go and read The Brothers Karamazov. And while you’re at it, read The Handmaid’s Tale. Ignore the static of social media and turn that disillusionment into art.
Siobhan Lyons
Media and cultural scientist, Sydney, Australia

I wasn’t at all surprised to read Josh Sargent’s recommendations on how to reach young men like him. Having worked with young men in the North East of England over the last decade, I see the same disillusionment and insecurity that Josh describes – yet the media insists on interpreting this as nothing more than misogyny and toxicity. Ten years ago I argued that we need to stop talking about a “masculinity crisis.” We didn’t stop: we simply replaced the word “crisis” with “toxic.” Now we call boys “lost.”

Josh writes, “I can promise you, we’re not lost. We’re just waiting for you to hear us.” Well said. But it shouldn’t be up to the boys to say this louder. It should be up to the rest of us to listen better.

Talk of crisis, toxicity and loss is not only useless – it empowers the very voices it purports to reject. The manosphere tells young men that they are not seen, heard, or valued. So stop doing their work for them. When young men struggle with money, meaning, and masculinity, make these legitimate topics public conversations—not shameful private ones. The only way to keep fears about the size of pecs, penises and salary packages out of the steroid-fueled manosphere is to make it socially normal for young men to talk about it openly. Young men do not need to be saved. They must be taken seriously.
Dr. Michael J. Richardson
Senior Lecturer in Human Geography at Newcastle University

As a mother of a 17 year old boy, I found it interesting to read Josh Sargent’s article on masculinity. I went upstairs to pause the game and get the views of his seven male friends, ages 17 to 19. Most study practical professions at university or do an apprenticeship, the rest work in factories. What follows is a summary of what they told me.

Yes, they see that “toxic” and “masculinity” are linked online. They noted that “a lot of girls are treated like shit by men” and that “big, muscular guys who want to fight” are examples of toxic masculinity. No consent was expressed for this.

They found that being masculine isn’t a bad thing, even though that has changed. Some girls can be masculine, and some boys they know are quite feminine. They wondered why there has to be labels for everything when all types of people can be toxic.

The identification of male role models was rather unsuccessful; only action film actors were named by one boy. They felt that Grimsby/Cleethorpes was reasonably well provided for youth activities, with great respect for The Trin (sports and community activities) and interest in the new Horizon center which is opening soon. They believed that schools were too strict and that children with unknown needs were labeled as naughty and isolated all day and learned nothing. It was observed that schools today look the same as they did 100 years ago and that what people need to learn has evolved.

They read over this letter and approved it for me to send. I was impressed by the nuance of their thinking and have less to worry about now that I understand more. I am glad that our region has funds for some youth activities. Josh Sargent was right – open and honest conversations with boys are what’s needed.
Vicki Dunn
Grimsby, Lincolnshire